Lost in motherhood? 4 tips to reclaim your identity.


As mums we have so much we are responsible for, getting the children to school, clubs, doing the food shop, keeping the house tidy I could go on. After a while you can feel that all your life has become is keeping on top of the house hold chores and you’ve lost track of who yo use to be.

Because life as a mum is so busy you have less time to do the things you used to prior to having children that gave you your identity.

If someone was to ask you now what do you do for you, could you answer it? Its a struggle isn’t it?

I used to ride my horse, go out with friends, go to concerts. Now my time is spent doing activities with my children, which I love but I struggle to find that thing that gives me my identity away from being a mum.

So how can we start to regain our identity?

1- Start to listen to the voice in your head.

What story are you telling yourself. Who are you telling yourself you are? I used to tell myself I was shy therefore I couldn’t put myself out there, I had very low self esteem so didn’t think I was worth much. By working on my mindset I have realised that this isn’t true and that I am in control of my thoughts, and I can control the thoughts I have about myself.

2- Journaling

Who do you want to be? I found I didn’t want to be the person I was before so it was a case of working out who I wanted to be going forward. Whats important to you, what do you like to do and how do you want people to see you?

3- Step out of your comfort zone.

To develop your own identity outside of being a mum sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone and actually make a change. If you want to meet new people or find a new hobby you need to get out there as it won’t come to you. This is something I find hard,  as much as I want to get out there, my happy place is at home with my boys. Recently I have been making the effort to do things away from them, it makes it even better to come home to them.

4- Acceptance

Know that it is ok to feel like you want an identity outside of motherhood, it doesn’t mean you don’t love being a mum and we shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to do things for ourselves.

Have you suffered with a loss of identity? If so I’d love to know if any of these tips have helped you.


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